Let go of things you cannot control...

Merry Christmas to all my clients and to those in 2013

Sickness Return...?

Winter, don't you love it? Crisp, cold mornings where you get all wrapped up and ready to face the chill factor. It's also the time of year when illnesses like coughs, colds, flu's and viruses spread more rapidly.

There's things you can do to help yourself and others avoid some of these bugs. Washing your hands after sneezing and using paper tissues when you have a cold will help to avoid spreading it further. Making sure you keep hydrated and also eating healthily including vegetables to keep necessary vitamins and minerals topped up.

Taking time off work may be a worry for some people when they have an illness, particularly if they have already taken time off before. Maybe your company has a strict absence policy or perhaps you can't afford not to miss another day as you won't get paid? Worrying only makes you feel worse, so you crawl out of your sick bed and grudgingly return to work - only to find you feel ten times worse the next day and reluctantly have to call in sick again. I've done this a few times in the past and can say in hindsight it probably took me longer to get over an illness than if I had rested and allowed my body the chance to recover. In returning to work I also probably spread germs to other people. Even with the best will in the world you can't stop all germs from escaping. Think about the cascade effect - how many others affected by our choices? If you can recover a bit longer at home, your colleagues may appreciate it.

What happens though if you are fearful of germs and getting ill? More people than you might imagine see this as a real and frightening fear. It eats up any sensibility even in the most rational of people in every day life. I've worked with a number of people on dealing with fear of becoming ill, of being ill and of coming into contact with germs. I want to reassure you that there is the potential to get over the fear. It's not a magic bullet approach, although with support you can make changes to how you feel and deal with this, and to deal with the underlying reasons.

So if you wanted to know more about dealing with fear of germs or fear of becoming ill, give me a call. Book a free initial consultation to find out how I can help.
You can call the Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or call me directly on 07773 610816.

About the Author: Angie works at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work and in life and achieving happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

Love doesn't need to hurt

If there is one thing that can hurt more than anything, and from seeing and hearing the impacts of this in my work, it is the pain and consequences of a relationship ending.

Doing the 'leaving' may seem right, or it might have felt right at the time. It may be a pattern of someone choosing to end relationships once the initial euphoria and 'spark' has worn off. Unconsciously or consciously looking for the next exciting new lover in the same way that a drug addict chases the next 'high'.
Sadly, it can also be a person not believing they are worthy of being loved. It doesn't matter how many times they are told or even shown they are loved, they cannot believe it for whatever reason. As a result there is a need to escape or to push the other person away. Indirectly or directly achieving what they believed in the first place, that they were not worthy of that other person.

Or it could be that jealousy interferes with the relationship. A person fears what their partner might or might not be doing. They in turn are over-vigilant with their partner and it can damage trust. Clinging to their views about the relationship. In response the other person may not be able to match what the other desires and the relationship tips further and further out of balance.

The root of the upset often lies within an individual. Their experience has made them distrust others, they sometimes lack confidence and seek to have the relationship on their terms, instead of a mutually comfortable partnership. It does not matter what the experience - it is possible to overcome their past and look forward to a happier future. It may take a bit of work - and is it not worth investing in yourself if you are to invest your feelings in a relationship with someone else?

In order to look for a long term, healthy and stable relationship it helps to see beyond the first fizzy, heady exciting part of romantic love. To look and understand the person who may actually be the perfect partner. So what if they are a great kisser? (well of course it's nice) But - how do they cope under pressure - easily or angrily? Are they confident with others? Do people describe them as happy/ kind/ gentle/ fun or moody/ sulky/angry? How does that compare with what you thought when you had those first dates?

I know it's easy to write this, and I know, much harder to put some of this into practice! It can be achieved - you just have to step back a bit. What is equally important is knowing what you like about yourself. Gaining self-approval opens the doors to a happier state of being and of finding someone else to share that with and who respects you for who/ what you are.

Want more than a fling? Here's my top tips:
* Consider what you like about yourself - or, what do others value in you?
* Let go of trying to please someone else
* Look beyond the initial spark of a relationship and pay attention to what the other person is really like and how others describe them
* Create free-time for each partner, to do things separately - allowing breathing space in a relationship can be good for both of you

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection ― Siddhārtha Gautama

About the Author: Angie loves helping other people achieve their potential at work and in life and achieving happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques. Available via skype, telephone as well as face to face. Based in Norwich, Norfolk, UK.

Dare to begin and get past negative beliefs

Some days we think we have a clear focus and know where we want to go. Other days it may be about surviving through many different tasks and responsibilities. If we really believe we can get to where we want to be professionally or personally it's great! However, at certain times we are under pressure or have doubts. Then it can feel a bit more challenging. It could be a negative mindset holding us back. If we have a hidden belief that somehow we do not deserve to achieve our goals, it can interfere with confidence - whispering doubts in our head - and perhaps missing a goal. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate? One of the things I can help with is discovering and helping to eliminate any unhelpful beliefs and putting in place strategies and visualisation to build confidence. Feel great and believe in yourself.

Dare to begin and be a winner. I think we all deserve that, don't you?

Sunset on the day - change your mind

Sometimes it can seem like the sun has set on a difficult day. Perhaps saying the wrong thing, or getting caught up in an unhealthy argument. Maybe it was circumstances beyond our control. One thing we can do is look at the end of the day as some sort of closure. Get some sleep and respect that it might seem different in the morning. The sunrise can bring a new way of thinking or even a decision or change of mind.

A turtle makes progress when it sticks it's neck out!

'A turtle makes progress when it sticks its neck out' (anonymous)

Sticking your neck out can seem like a tough prospect when moving to a new school, workplace, college or even returning from combat. The changes we experience require us to possibly re-think who we are, what we are doing, how we do things and how to fit in with people we may not know well. On top of that, for those who knew us before, we may have changed beyond all recognition (emotionally at least). It takes courage to stick our neck out and step into the unknown. Whilst it can seem a bit unnerving taking that first step, often it pays dividends in many ways. The more we continue stepping into new situations, strength seems to grow inside of us and keep us changing, enjoying life and learning. It takes bravery too. I enjoy helping people to get the best out of their lives. Taking those steps with my help. Would you appreciate that? If so, call me to find out more on 07773 610816 or the Norfolk Clinic on 01603 660792 to arrange an initial chat. Hypnotherapy, coaching and counselling services are offered to many different types of people.