Envious or jealous? Green is a positive colour.

Feeling envious or feeling jealous? What's the difference? Why does it matter? 

Imagine someone you know is on holiday. They start posting numerous social media pictures of their fabulous hotel and of the white sandy beach. Does this inspire you with ideas for a future holiday? Do you feel like saving up and planning something for yourself? This may have started as a feeling of envy that encouraged you toward positive motivation and action. 

Or do you mumble and groan about the number of times you see their 'I'm so happy on my holiday' face across your screen? Do you start to say things to yourself like, 'I'd not want to be there anyway' (even though, you admit, it looks exquisite). Or perhaps, 'Too many creepy crawlies and I noticed they'd been bitten by a mosquito already!' The thoughts started as envy, then quickly escalated into a negative, jealous response. It's like wanting to stop someone else's fun. To not share in another person's vivid experience of life. 

Other people can seem to have it all, can't they? Maybe they can. Or maybe they have put in considerable effort to save up, to forge a successful career, making sacrifices in order to take annual holidays. Holding onto envy will lead to jealous thoughts. It will keep you trapped if you are constantly comparing yourself with others. Preventing you from focusing on your positive characteristics and achievements. You are the only invitee at this 'pity party'. 

Worst of all, it erodes self-confidence. It will stop you from building greater self-esteem. 

Or do you feel good about other people's success even if they appear to have 'more' material things, bigger homes and more exotic holidays than you? Do you positively rejoice in other people's happiness? Feeling excited for others is going to lead to more positive feelings for you. That should be less painful than feeling bad about another person's happiness. 

Perhaps next time you get a little green eyed, remember, an occasional bit of envy is OK. Just make sure it leads to the grass being greener on your side of the fence. Focus on your own grass and leave others to theirs.   

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About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or call Angie directly on 07773 610816. She loves helping people achieve their potential at work, in life and finding greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.