About Me

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Life happens. Sometimes good and sometimes not so good. This is an exploration of life and all that interests me. I am a therapist working in Norwich, Norfolk, UK. I'm fascinated in the world around me and how people deal with and relate to it. I like to further my knowledge of people, psychology and more. Please join me on my journey.

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Branching Out

Here I am, back on the 'nature' trail again!


Eric Hoffer was known to say "my writing grows out of my life just as a branch from a tree."  I liked this quote.  I can relate to my experience as a therapist and to my life in much the same way. 


What expression or quote do you relate to - for your life and experiences? Do add a comment and let me know.



Sunday, 28 August 2011

Nature inspires me

Nature is my guide, my dreamscape, my inspiration, 
my peaceful moment, my calendar, my friend


Friday, 26 August 2011

listen to your thoughts and smile for happiness

In a moment of clarity I realised some years ago that you could choose to be anything you wanted to be. Now that's a big statement, I know. What I realised was the truth, is that just because someone else's opinion was formed with their own beliefs, it did not need to attach itself to mine (or to anyone else's). It was my right and my decision to start a chain of events that would take me on a journey of discovery. I was discovering that I had a lot more to give to the world and that the world didn't have to stop with other people's perceptions.  


That journey hasn't stopped and I continue to be amazed at what you can do when you believe and perceive of yourself and others. There have been some steep inclines and some moments of feeling like the wheels are only just on the rails. Some days I have reached the highest pinnacles, the wind really in my sails, then to feel like the wind has vanished. It's then that I take time out. A few minutes of quiet time to reflect on what is happening inside of me. Why those feelings? What's happening? If there is a bit of internal criticism going on, I listen to establish what is the truth. Continuing to ask questions of myself. Do I really believe that? Is that really true? How are my relationships with others shaping my journey?     


Take a few minutes to ask yourself a few questions to establish your truth.


Another technique that I've applied on and off for years (and some people might think this a bit ludicrous!) is to fake 'being happy'.  Even if I've woken up 'under a cloud' with my mouth -feeling upside down, I fake it and I've noticed that the rather-ridiculous-artificially-induced-smile boosts my mood.  It also means I take notice of other people's facial expressions and when they are looking sad, give them a smile. It's a bit of reciprocal support on a day when you need to bounce back. I admit, some people look at me like I'm a bit strange - they are strangers after all. But it is great when you get a genuine smile back. 


Give that fake smile a go if you are having an upside-down sort of day!

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Community stars

Today I announce an extra special award that I believe should go to two friends of mine. I think I will call it the local community award for caring and they each deserve a star.  


Why they should receive this mention is simple. They were out early and enjoying a walk through the local area, as they often do.  On today's journey they came across a confused elderly lady, still in her nightwear.  So, rather than ignore the behaviour of this lady, which others appeared to be doing (whether in car or on foot) they took the time to ASK if she was OK. They took the time to find out why she might be outside in her nightwear. They also did not make her feel foolish, they enjoyed a giggle WITH her not at her expense.  They stayed with her and made sure she was comfortable and safe, until a policewoman turned up to help. 


It might have taken up a small part of their day, it might have seemed a small inconvenience. What they did might have made a big difference to the safety and well-being of someone's mother, someone's grandmother, someone's friend.    


If only there were more community stars out there.  Well done girls, brilliant to hear such a heart-warming tale of kindness and compassion. 

Sunday, 14 August 2011

climbing mountains

In the past I've been fortunate enough to visit some parts of the United States on a couple of holidays.  I was privileged to see one of the most stunning locations, Yosemite National Park, with breathtaking scenery at every turn. From the grassy meadows to the highest mountain peak. I decided I would enjoy climbing up the side of Yosemite Falls and was determined I was fit and up for the challenge and said this to my partner. 
The climb was steep. It was only when standing at the bottom, gazing upward in the early morning, that I realised just HOW high it was! By the time I reached the first waterfall (there are two) I wanted to stop and return back.  My partner suggested we could reach the second fall at the very top. The heat was incredible and there was no shade as we neared the top. It took a lot more than physical endurance to reach the top of that mountain.  Knowing there were brown bears in Yosemite kept me on my toes too. It also was tough getting back down with the steep and narrow trek full of other tourists still coming up at midday. My partner handed over his water supply to me to keep me going.


I felt incredibly proud when looking over the falls at the top and seeing the glacier pool that I would not have seen if not for that determined trek.  I also learnt that jokily boasting about my level of fitness might have been a bad idea. I was humbled by the stamina and generosity shown to me by my partner and by the very mountain I stood on. I also learned a lot about myself and what I could do if I really believed. I'm glad I had that experience.  

In the words of a great and famous photographer, renowned for photographing Yosemite National Park, 'In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration' - Ansel Adams (photo attached is not by Ansel, his were black and white)










Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Filtering negative thoughts

Registering thoughts and emotions is something we all connect with, at times before we realise that a thought has made us feel bad. That negative thought might be about how someone else see's us, or even a likeness we see in somebody that creates an internal conflict, or some other past experience or hurt.

Whenever a thought appears to make us feel we should act a certain way, we can start by working on seeing it for what it is. It is just a thought. Not necessarily a fully weighed-up thought in the here and now on the current truth. It's mostly based on past experience. It takes time to find the truths and myths of our experience as that time expands.  



Give a little time to developing your 'thought radar', switch it to manual every now and then.  I recommend it for checking and filtering negative thoughts. The happier you may be. 

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Men and weight gain - a sensitive subject

When it comes to men and weight, very often men are worried about this but don't always seek the help. They bury their head in the sand.  People hope the problem will go away by itself.  But it just doesn't work that way, does it? So whenever I hear from a man finding out how I may be able to help them get a healthier lifestyle, I know it takes bravery for that man to accept they need to change. Let alone to 'want' to commit to that change.  There's a myth that commitment can scare some men off, after all! 


It's a known fact that your heart, other major organs and your joints do not do well under layers of fat. Did you know another thing affected by a continual gaining of pounds in men (whether diabetic or not) can be bladder control and sexual performance? 


These unfortunate symptoms can affect up to 40% of the overweight diabetic male population*. The attached article links to research carried out on the effects of weight loss on diabetic men in Australia, (*statistic comes from this article).
  
sex lives of diabetic men increase with weight loss


It's a good idea to first see your Doctor if you think you need to do something about your weight. They can recommend changes. They'll also check your blood pressure and give you the go ahead for any change in exercise, particularly if you haven't done any for a while. 


There are many reasons for changing your eating habits. If you are a man and you're reading this, maybe this gives you a perfect reason to commit to a change of lifestyle. To commit to your own wellbeing.  


“It is our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”~ J.K. Rowling

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

It's the time

I am thinking about time today.  'Really' thinking about time. If time were immaterial and we were not driven by the clock on the wall, what might happen? As it is, I'm preparing to see clients and getting myself 'in the zone' to face the rest of the day. 


Where there is a clock on the wall, there is an inner mechanism too. What would it be like to be free from that inner drive for a few hours or minutes and what would be the reaction to that change? What difference would it make? I will come back to this later... when I have time. 

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