Fight or Flight?

Stress can lead us to have an undesired fast-track reaction to individuals or situations.  Where we would normally be rational and calm in our minds, the smallest thing can send a stressed individual 'off the scale'.  I've dealt with it and have felt it in the past. 


Have you ever been in stressed situations in the past where all your nerve endings are fired up and ready to 'fight or flight'?  It's quite a normal response to want to do either of those things in extreme emergencies, it's more negative when it's a loved one who happens to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  


It's really about what is known as coping mechanisms. For some examples, if shown as a child (whether by parents or carers) that the way to deal with a stressful situation is to shout or get angry or walk away, then likely that behaviour will continue into adulthood. If the response is to get angry or to withdraw, both of these behaviours can be damaging to personal relationships. Especially if they are repeated many times, it really can wear through all the layers of good stuff that are built up.  


It takes a brave person to ask a question of someone who we feel is doing us an injustice or to find out if the 'truth' in our current stressed state is actually what we are thinking it is... perhaps realising that someone else has actually a totally different take on the situation. Patience is required before 'blowing your top'.   


What would stop us from asking a question to establish what a loved one really means? 'Why do you say that?' for example. I will be remembering this as a lesson for this week and hope it helps anyone reading this too.