Thinking like a warrior

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angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
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About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. 

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816. She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work ,life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

Odd socks = Perfect match

Odd socks. I have several odd socks I've kept for months. My favourite blue ones are the latest to have lost a partner. Perhaps the washing machine has eaten the other. I've accepted the fate of opening my sock drawer and finding an odd pairing. I do my best to match the colour and get on with my day. I've accepted I have more important things to do than worry about perfectly matching socks.

Why talk about socks? Well, I've worked with a few clients in recent times that in various ways had felt they were attempting to be 'all things to all people'. Several of them through discussion with me, had come to realise that the stress or anxiety they'd felt about their situations, was sometimes because of setting themselves very high standards. They wanted things to be 'perfect' in every way. Whether parent, employee or manager. They thought their lives needed to be so perfect that they were burning themselves out. Matching socks were the least of their worries.

When a high achiever loses control in some way, it can lead to feelings of anxiety. An example is when our own standards of behaviour /output are personally highly valued. If that expectation is transferred to others (whether colleagues, friends or family) it can lead to conflict. When others fail to live up to expectations, it can result in anxiety or stress. Becoming passively aggressive, overly controlling or domineering may be a negative outcome. In the case of the workplace, delegation ceases or frustration builds with the colleague who doesn't match the high personal standards. Tension builds and potentially affects happiness/ productivity.

In a family/friend context, it can put a big strain on emotional and physical well-being if striving to be all things to all people. Juggling the responsibilities of a demanding job and being a parent or carer can be tough. If the world of social media is anything to go by, people want to be seen as being perfect. They can photoshop their life to show a glossed-over, unrealistic world.

Practice learning to let go of demand for total perfection, find time to do the things that give you pleasure to reduce stress/ anxiety.  If you can let one thing go this coming week, let it be matching socks! It's a good start.

See:
angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. 

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816. She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work ,life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

Self-Reliance

Self-reliance is a skill. It could also be considered a mind-set. As a skill that can be understood and learned, I think it goes hand in hand with having the right mentality to make it happen. But where do you start?

If you face a problem, you may feel out of control. You don't know whether to take action or stick your head in the sand, run and hide or face up to whatever it is. It can feel quite fearful on a number of levels.

People may want to boost their ability to take control and improve their lot. Whether that be at the end of a relationship where the other person made most decisions or took control of problems, & it feels daunting to find a way forward. Or perhaps at work, where doubts about abilities and confidence can surface. Or those not allowed to be their own person from a very young age and wanting to develop their confidence and self-reliance. 

You can start by giving yourself permission to be self-reliant (it does not mean being selfish, that's something different) You could start right now, say, 'I am self-reliant'. Check what that is like as you say it. Do you feel stronger? When you do something slightly out of your comfort zone, eg, suggesting to a co-worker you do a particular task that perhaps they usually seem to 'take over'. Afterwards, reward yourself with something positive. You overcame fear. The more you rely on you, the happier you will be.  

It is possible to find and get your self-reliance reward. I nearly wrote 'award' then! Actually, it could be like giving yourself an award, a 'recognition' of a skill, if you like. That's a rewarding idea.     

See:

angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich.  

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816.  She loves helping other people achieve their potential in life and work and to find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

The magic of heels (or sparkly red shoes): self belief

I remember the first time I went to buy a pair of high heels. There was a good reason, not just fashion. I wanted a pair of heels to look older than my 12 years. I needed to look like I was 14, the age I needed to be to get in to see a then 'AA' rated film at the cinema. The film was the 'Elephant Man'. I'd heard it was amazing and I'd do anything to go. Where I lived there wasn't that many shoe shops in town. My mum went with me and we searched the shop with the 'teen' appeal. 

The pair of shoes I found and fell in love with there were totally impractical. A vivid red/orange colour, peep toe, in suede. I have wide fitting feet and I think these were a narrow fit. My mum asked if I was sure about them. 'Yes' of course I was, my heart was already set on those shoes and so I squeezed my toes into them and thought, 'perfect!' even as the pretty suede pinched the edge of my big and little toes. I believed the shoes made me look and feel older - just the way I needed them to. That was all that mattered. 

I needed no help in the pretence of being older than I was. I added a dab of make up on the evening of the film. I put on those red shoes and wobbled and strutted off with my friend (also in heels). That night my friend and I were also already 14 in our minds, we were emotionally 'grown up' we really believed it. We even behaved more worldly and acted confidently before we got anywhere near the cinema. Of course, we got in to see the film and it was wonderful and moving. I look back now and smile, as it was the genuine belief that we were already two years older, that was amazing and touching. 

It's great what a pair of shoes can do for you. It's also amazing what your imagination can do too. Self-belief starts with a little imagination and practice. You have the power inside. Heels are optional.

See:

angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich.  

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816.  She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work, life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

Time flies into the present

Time flies very quickly. I have heard it said so many times. It is true that we measure our days with the ticking of a clock. The challenge with time is to recognise it as a gift, the present. Treasuring the moments that you have to either make your mark on the world and to enjoy the time you spend with family and friends, rather than regrets or thoughts that keep you from the present. Getting that balance is the challenge. On a bank holiday Monday it is the perfect time to reflect on what I am doing and also choosing to do the things that make me feel good and give me what I want. I hope you are having a great week and doing the things that give you a happy and successful present too!     

See:
angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich.  

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816.  She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work, life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

Butt-kicking or pat on the back?

Occasionally I see something, whether a quote, a picture or   something I read, that makes me sit up and take notice. Especially when it's to do with abilities not being encouraged. Perhaps its the natural 'coach' in me! 

Seeing a news report, a story from a friend or hearing from a client of first-hand experience of feeling like they had been overlooked.  

Several people I've met over the years told me that school/ sport /club sometimes left them feeling like they were running an uphill battle with them at the bottom of the hill trying to reach the top. No support was provided to get there. Yet they had the ability in them and had 'given up' trying. 

They were shouted at for doing things wrong or for not doing it the way the system believed it should be (school, club - whatever really). Negative and restrictive behaviours surrounding the system brought them down. It wasn't their fault, yet they thought it was. It was the system that was actually failing. It was not meeting their needs and conformed to the majority of the participants that were in it.

Then I hear other stories of people who have been lucky enough to have worked with an amazing teacher/coach/leader. Amazing in that a person is respected for being sensitive to the needs of people who struggled in the traditional systems. These inspirational people seem to instinctively know to inspire and train people who maybe don't fit the 'usual' system requirements. They know how to encourage and empower and inspire confidence and also introduce fun ways of keeping that knowledge. 

The best thing that all of these leaders, teachers and coaches seem to do, is find a way of reaching out to people. Encouraging and reinforcing learning in a fun and forgiving way. Learning is also about making mistakes and people often fear making mistakes. So if a student/person does happen to make a mistake they are made aware, encouraged to correct it themselves, or shown how to solve it if they do not have the actual skill required. No getting hung up on any idea of 'failure'. 

There might not always be available time to give to that one person who is struggling, especially in a team environment, as everybody needs to be 'on the ball'. However, that one person may remember and respect that inspirational teacher/coach/ leader who bothered to stop, show and encourage them.  If they are finding it tough it will mean a lot to them and inspire them to keep going.     

See:
angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. 

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816. She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work ,life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

'Listen to me (please)' says your body

Do you 'listen' to your body? Do you pay attention to sensations in your body? Are you sat for ages at a desk or slumped in a chair and not taking breaks or getting up and moving around? If so, your body will not thank you for it. You probably have not been aware of the impact on your muscles, ligaments, tendons, blood vessels or major organs in your body. 

If you've ever woken up after a nights sleep and wondered why your neck muscles are tight, then you may have forgotten to listen to your body. Perhaps you held your shoulders unevenly, or were sitting with your feet tucked underneath you and were twisting your spine. Perhaps you were breathing very shallowly and getting insufficient oxygen into your lungs and then anxiety affected you, without 'real' awareness of what happened to cause it. 

We only get that one, precious, body to see us through all our life. Our brain that sits inside our body, it thinks it's in charge sitting right at the top. Well it is in charge, mostly. We need to remind it that being at the top also means being totally responsible for the miraculous thing that is our own, unique, vehicle in life. It might not be the perfect body, but it is the only one we will get. If we don't look after it, eventually we will become less efficient, less able to move and unable to do the things our brain needs and wants us to do. We must take time to repair, refresh and keep the moving parts, moving. 

Conversely, we need time to 'rest' the brain and let it 'free-wheel' for a while. To close down awareness on constant noise, thoughts and input that the brain receives 24/7 is a feat that challenges us, unless asleep. Learning to connect what is happening between your mind and body takes time. I see and experience a link between physical activity and calming of the mind. I've had those sudden solutions to things I've been mulling over, all because I have taken a break or done something physical after being static for a time. 

I really enjoy the physical challenge of yoga and swimming. I'd love to swim every day if I could! Yoga is something I do easily at home and sometimes I attend a class, subject to work commitments. I find both activities give me something different and both really clear my mind to allow a natural 'pause'. I find that because my body is active, my mind is quieter. For most people this makes exercise a big 'plus' and it's why sports are great for releasing tension and building stamina. 

I wonder if you have reminded your brain of it's responsibilities as your vehicle (body) owner of late. If not, is it time for an overhaul of your mind and body? 

I run 6 session HypnoShape ® weight programmes in Norwich, UK. It's a programme that helps you get back in touch with your body (and mind).  It's particularly helpful if you notice sometimes you eat for emotional reasons. It's not a diet, it's about getting a healthy lifestyle. It'll help you find ways to manage stress, improve how you feel about yourself and deal with emotion too. Contact me or info@hypnoshape.com for more information on daytime and evening classes running at the Norfolk Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. 

Angie
See:

angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. 

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816. She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work, life and finding greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.