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Life happens. Sometimes good and sometimes not so good. This is an exploration of life and all that interests me. I am a therapist working in Norwich, Norfolk, UK. I'm fascinated in the world around me and how people deal with and relate to it. I like to further my knowledge of people, psychology and more. Please join me on my journey.

Friday 3 October 2014

Odd socks = Perfect match

Odd socks. I have several odd socks I've kept for months. My favourite blue ones are the latest to have lost a partner. Perhaps the washing machine has eaten the other. I've accepted the fate of opening my sock drawer and finding an odd pairing. I do my best to match the colour and get on with my day. I've accepted I have more important things to do than worry about perfectly matching socks.

Why talk about socks? Well, I've worked with a few clients in recent times that in various ways had felt they were attempting to be 'all things to all people'. Several of them through discussion with me, had come to realise that the stress or anxiety they'd felt about their situations, was sometimes because of setting themselves very high standards. They wanted things to be 'perfect' in every way. Whether parent, employee or manager. They thought their lives needed to be so perfect that they were burning themselves out. Matching socks were the least of their worries.

When a high achiever loses control in some way, it can lead to feelings of anxiety. An example is when our own standards of behaviour /output are personally highly valued. If that expectation is transferred to others (whether colleagues, friends or family) it can lead to conflict. When others fail to live up to expectations, it can result in anxiety or stress. Becoming passively aggressive, overly controlling or domineering may be a negative outcome. In the case of the workplace, delegation ceases or frustration builds with the colleague who doesn't match the high personal standards. Tension builds and potentially affects happiness/ productivity.

In a family/friend context, it can put a big strain on emotional and physical well-being if striving to be all things to all people. Juggling the responsibilities of a demanding job and being a parent or carer can be tough. If the world of social media is anything to go by, people want to be seen as being perfect. They can photoshop their life to show a glossed-over, unrealistic world.

Practice learning to let go of demand for total perfection, find time to do the things that give you pleasure to reduce stress/ anxiety.  If you can let one thing go this coming week, let it be matching socks! It's a good start.

Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. 

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816. She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work ,life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

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