About Me

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Life happens. Sometimes good and sometimes not so good. This is an exploration of life and all that interests me. I am a therapist working in Norwich, Norfolk, UK. I'm fascinated in the world around me and how people deal with and relate to it. I like to further my knowledge of people, psychology and more. Please join me on my journey.

Monday 31 October 2011

Be a good one

No matter whether we are in business, a parent, a student, a partner, an employee or our own boss, if it feels as if circumstances are holding us back, it's time to revisit your thoughts. Find out what it is inside of you that is stopping you from taking that situation (or feeling) and make one step towards doing something about it.  If you're not seeing the wood for the trees, step back and face looking up - knowing that you have a way forward. Don't let your inner voice hold you back from your potential. 

Change is inevitable. So, if change is inevitable, why not change one thing for yourself today? Plan something, no matter how small, and do it well. Notice the difference after completing it.

If there were no challenges, would there be no achievements? 
Go for it!   

Friday 21 October 2011

Gratitude is the greatest of virtues

'Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others' - Cicero, Roman Philosopher

So why think about gratitude? Various studies have shown that when we become consciously grateful for things, it can increase our happiness by up to 25%. I'm not quite sure how that measurement was found, though I am thinking 'anything that helps'! Great. Now comes the tricky bit of putting it into action, right?

I came up with a strategy for using that statement. Usually as I start to think about doing the tasks I least like, it can result in taking me back to a feeling of being a child who's told 'go clean your room'. So as an adult, I sometimes do all I can to find other tasks, perhaps a bit unappealing maybe, though more appealing than those I've been putting off. It's more about starting the job and then once started, it becomes easier. As a friend of mine reminded me, 'a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step'. Great advice.

So the procrastination itself did not lead toward gratitude. It has though, given me a lesson and for that, I am grateful. I am grateful too for the friends who have given me support during the last 2 years. Who have been there through the challenges of bereavement and beyond.

I am grateful too for my family, my friends, my hard work, my successes, my clients and for those successes and experiences that are still to come (both good and bad). I feel so much better for writing this already.

I feel grateful that I am open to truly embracing all the tasks that are on my to do list, now. I feel certain I will be even happier for it.  No statistics needed, it's off the scale!  

Friday 14 October 2011

Believe in yourself - inspiration





~ Christian D. Larson

Sunday 9 October 2011

Fight or Flight?

Stress can lead us to have an undesired fast-track reaction to individuals or situations.  Where we would normally be rational and calm in our minds, the smallest thing can send a stressed individual 'off the scale'.  I've dealt with it and have felt it in the past. 

Have you ever been in stressed situations in the past where all your nerve endings are fired up and ready to 'fight or flight'?  It's quite a normal response to want to do either of those things in extreme emergencies, it's more negative when it's a loved one who happens to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  

It's really about what is known as coping mechanisms. For some examples, if shown as a child (whether by parents or carers) that the way to deal with a stressful situation is to shout or get angry or walk away, then likely that behaviour will continue into adulthood. If the response is to get angry or to withdraw, both of these behaviours can be damaging to personal relationships. Especially if they are repeated many times, it really can wear through all the layers of good stuff that are built up.  

It takes a brave person to ask a question of someone who we feel is doing us an injustice or to find out if the 'truth' in our current stressed state is actually what we are thinking it is... perhaps realising that someone else has actually a totally different take on the situation. Patience is required before 'blowing your top'.   

What would stop us from asking a question to establish what a loved one really means? 'Why do you say that?' for example. I will be remembering this as a lesson for this week and hope it helps anyone reading this too. 

Sunday 2 October 2011

blue skies and fresh air

Today has been the most wonderful, sunny and invigorating day. I am feeling bright and chirpy after a very hectic and fun day. Driving along seeing the changes in the trees and looking at sunny skies. I noticed and love the way the plants have adapted to the mix of weather we have had. It makes you realise how adaptable nature is.  Then I thought to myself, how adaptable are we to life changes?

Last week one of my clients became smoke-free. Becoming free of the old thoughts, habits, behaviours and reasons for smoking. Having worked through the background to smoking and what was stopping them from changing (nothing!), they found alternative and refreshing things to do to replace the old habit. They said goodbye to the old routine in favour of new alternatives.  I can imagine a feeling of freedom will be well matched with the beautiful blue, warm, sunny skies that have been above us here in good old blighty! I wish that client (and all those of you who are in the process of making changes) a very happy, smoke-free future now the burden of smoking is something you no longer want.

Wishing you all a very relaxing, fresh and happy week ahead.

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