Choices, mistakes and pain - what do you gain? A few minutes of your time :)

Forgiving yourself is something needing to be done before you can forgive others. That's something I once read and it always stuck with me! 

If you continue to carry a burden of guilt or hurt around it can make it a challenge to genuinely forgive other people when they have hurt or upset you. The time when you say 'I truly forgive myself' (and believe it) is when forgiveness becomes an open doorway to freedom. It opens up to all sorts of possiblity, colour and lightness, without the restricted vision of guilt, hurt or pain.  

If your path to forgiveness seems blocked, you can definitely start to clear it and move towards freedom. Take one small step a day or even once a week to learning about any guilt, fear or anger that you are holding. What did holding onto it do for you in the past? How does it serve you now? Was it a habit or a choice? Allow time to reflect on thoughts without over-analysing. This should be a brief process of a few minutes. The more you do it in small steps, the easier it can become to see clearer what works for you now, and perhaps what old ways of thinking are best left behind. Particularly if they leave you hurt, angry, guilty or sad.    

Angie

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About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. 

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816. She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work ,life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

More than first aid...hypnosis being used in French fire service

I recently had a conversation with a man who had worked in the police for many years. 
He had often been first to witness the aftermath of traumatic accidents or finding people seriously injured. Throughout his career he retained an ability to remain calm, stopping the more disturbing things he'd seen from affecting him. I asked him about how he thought he had been able to deal with that and he told me he always thought of the family of the individual and focused on looking after their needs. He said this had allowed him to deal with the more challenging experiences whilst he had been in service. 

I've worked with other people who haven't been quite so unaffected either as a professional or after being involved in a serious accident. I would always suggest not 'burying' a problem if it's affecting you now. Seek help to deal with any emotional or physical problems if time has not yet been successful at healing those emotional 'wounds'. 

For those who are involved in dealing with traumatic experiences, I was interested to read about a technique being pioneered in eastern France during the last half of 2013.  120 of the local fire brigade crew have been trained in 'basic hypnosis techniques' to ease pain and anxiety of trauma victims alongside traditional first aid whilst they assist them or extricate people involved in accidents.  

As firefighters arrive at the scene of an accident perhaps cutting a victim free from wreckage, those staff who have been trained in hypnosis establish a more personal link with the person. They work to divert attention away from the trauma itself and instead onto the person's wellbeing.  The fire station manager, David Ernenwein, is convinced that the method is useful. He says, "We have all noticed that when we hold someone's hand, things go better, even if we did not label it as 'hypnosis'. The first thing that we can do to help people is to calm them down, and this technique has given us the tools to be able to do that, to help people suffer less".  The firemen were also taught techniques to control their own stress response. 

The 'trial' continued to the end of 2013, with the fire brigade keeping a record of the heart rate, pain levels or emotions of victims they help. These results will be compared with stats of victims treated by firemen who have not used hypnosis with them. so I will be interested to know if the training has been rolled out beyond that one area. 

As another side to this, many people who are given positive suggestions in hospital tend to need a shorter stay. If you are feeling nervous about an operation or staying in hospital, hypnotherapy could help you to feel calmer about it. By calming your mental state before you go in, you can reduce the physical stress on your body and can increase your capacity for healing whilst there and when comfortably back at home.

If you would like to know more about how hypnotherapy might help you, contact me at info@angiegiles.co.uk or call 07773 610816 

Love doesn't need to hurt

If there is one thing that can hurt more than anything, and from seeing and hearing the impacts of this in my work, it is the pain and consequences of a relationship ending.

Doing the 'leaving' may seem right, or it might have felt right at the time. It may be a pattern of someone choosing to end relationships once the initial euphoria and 'spark' has worn off. Unconsciously or consciously looking for the next exciting new lover in the same way that a drug addict chases the next 'high'.
Sadly, it can also be a person not believing they are worthy of being loved. It doesn't matter how many times they are told or even shown they are loved, they cannot believe it for whatever reason. As a result there is a need to escape or to push the other person away. Indirectly or directly achieving what they believed in the first place, that they were not worthy of that other person.

Or it could be that jealousy interferes with the relationship. A person fears what their partner might or might not be doing. They in turn are over-vigilant with their partner and it can damage trust. Clinging to their views about the relationship. In response the other person may not be able to match what the other desires and the relationship tips further and further out of balance.

The root of the upset often lies within an individual. Their experience has made them distrust others, they sometimes lack confidence and seek to have the relationship on their terms, instead of a mutually comfortable partnership. It does not matter what the experience - it is possible to overcome their past and look forward to a happier future. It may take a bit of work - and is it not worth investing in yourself if you are to invest your feelings in a relationship with someone else?

In order to look for a long term, healthy and stable relationship it helps to see beyond the first fizzy, heady exciting part of romantic love. To look and understand the person who may actually be the perfect partner. So what if they are a great kisser? (well of course it's nice) But - how do they cope under pressure - easily or angrily? Are they confident with others? Do people describe them as happy/ kind/ gentle/ fun or moody/ sulky/angry? How does that compare with what you thought when you had those first dates?

I know it's easy to write this, and I know, much harder to put some of this into practice! It can be achieved - you just have to step back a bit. What is equally important is knowing what you like about yourself. Gaining self-approval opens the doors to a happier state of being and of finding someone else to share that with and who respects you for who/ what you are.

Want more than a fling? Here's my top tips:
* Consider what you like about yourself - or, what do others value in you?
* Let go of trying to please someone else
* Look beyond the initial spark of a relationship and pay attention to what the other person is really like and how others describe them
* Create free-time for each partner, to do things separately - allowing breathing space in a relationship can be good for both of you

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection ― Siddhārtha Gautama

About the Author: Angie loves helping other people achieve their potential at work and in life and achieving happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques. Available via skype, telephone as well as face to face. Based in Norwich, Norfolk, UK.

success and pain