'Christmad' preparation? My top toboggan swerves to coast you through Christmas like a pro

So, I was hurriedly searching for a particular food on google, intending looking for 'Christmas holiday food'. However, with the speed of a chased rabbit down a hole, I mistyped: 'Christmad.'  Seems a suitable alternative name for an increasingly frantic time leading up to the festivities. 

The supermarkets have been playing Christmas music since November, when it was still quite warm and not at all feeling like Christmas, here in the UK. The TV commercials and shops started a feeling of journeying down a toboggan ride to 'Christmad' that was gradually more demanding and picking up speed. Going on a toboggan without preparation is dangerous, if untrained. So here's 3 of my top 'swerves' to prepare you for your very own toboggan ride to be happier and coast you more gently through Christmas!

 BBC image

 1) Tidying up

Your house may be less than tidy, perhaps you’re working long hours to make ends meet. You have family coming over. So you can either clean the house all night and feel exhausted or decide maybe you’re holding onto an unrealistic illusion of what a perfect home looks like at Christmas?  People tend to remember experiences, not things.  The fun and laughter of friends and families, not there were flawlessly clean carpets, perfect matching decorations and neatly stacked logs by a roaring fire. I’d rather have happy, rested family and friends, than those worn out cleaning everything up till the wee small hours, wouldn't you?

2)  Present buying

Most people, if asked, would say that some presents they’ve been given have gone unused, been recycled or are just sitting in the back of a cupboard. Finding and choosing gifts can be stressful. Particularly when attempting to find the latest ‘must-have’ toy for children. Of course, you want to do your best for your child. However, repeat after me “I’m doing the best for my family/friends/me” (Because, yes, you are!) Why not create something homemade that certain people will particularly like? (I’ve hand-painted a few items this year and I think the recipients will appreciate my efforts)

3)  Judging yourself/ comparisons

Don’t judge yourself harshly if you can’t finalise everything you would want to at Christmas.  If you have children, know that YOU are doing the best for them at this time.  Your love and time is far more important to a child. The best gift you can give is being a loving and ‘present’ parent, rather than worrying about ‘what if’s’ and ‘could haves’. They just take you away from the present moment of enjoying what you DO have.

If you see friends glossy ‘perfect’ images posted on social media, it can lead to feelings of envy or of not matching up to their standards. Those images are not the whole picture. They represent a moment, not a real story of lumpy gravy, only what the person posting wants you to see.  It’s another illusion to disregard and swerve.

 I wish you a very healthy and happy ride through the festivities! 

Angie x

See:

http://www.angiegiles.co.uk/
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 

Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
Angie offers a free initial chat to find out more, usually as part of your first consultation. 

Love doesn't need to hurt

If there is one thing that can hurt more than anything, and from seeing and hearing the impacts of this in my work, it is the pain and consequences of a relationship ending.

Doing the 'leaving' may seem right, or it might have felt right at the time. It may be a pattern of someone choosing to end relationships once the initial euphoria and 'spark' has worn off. Unconsciously or consciously looking for the next exciting new lover in the same way that a drug addict chases the next 'high'.
Sadly, it can also be a person not believing they are worthy of being loved. It doesn't matter how many times they are told or even shown they are loved, they cannot believe it for whatever reason. As a result there is a need to escape or to push the other person away. Indirectly or directly achieving what they believed in the first place, that they were not worthy of that other person.

Or it could be that jealousy interferes with the relationship. A person fears what their partner might or might not be doing. They in turn are over-vigilant with their partner and it can damage trust. Clinging to their views about the relationship. In response the other person may not be able to match what the other desires and the relationship tips further and further out of balance.

The root of the upset often lies within an individual. Their experience has made them distrust others, they sometimes lack confidence and seek to have the relationship on their terms, instead of a mutually comfortable partnership. It does not matter what the experience - it is possible to overcome their past and look forward to a happier future. It may take a bit of work - and is it not worth investing in yourself if you are to invest your feelings in a relationship with someone else?

In order to look for a long term, healthy and stable relationship it helps to see beyond the first fizzy, heady exciting part of romantic love. To look and understand the person who may actually be the perfect partner. So what if they are a great kisser? (well of course it's nice) But - how do they cope under pressure - easily or angrily? Are they confident with others? Do people describe them as happy/ kind/ gentle/ fun or moody/ sulky/angry? How does that compare with what you thought when you had those first dates?

I know it's easy to write this, and I know, much harder to put some of this into practice! It can be achieved - you just have to step back a bit. What is equally important is knowing what you like about yourself. Gaining self-approval opens the doors to a happier state of being and of finding someone else to share that with and who respects you for who/ what you are.

Want more than a fling? Here's my top tips:
* Consider what you like about yourself - or, what do others value in you?
* Let go of trying to please someone else
* Look beyond the initial spark of a relationship and pay attention to what the other person is really like and how others describe them
* Create free-time for each partner, to do things separately - allowing breathing space in a relationship can be good for both of you

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection ― Siddhārtha Gautama

About the Author: Angie loves helping other people achieve their potential at work and in life and achieving happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques. Available via skype, telephone as well as face to face. Based in Norwich, Norfolk, UK.