About Me

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Life happens. Sometimes good and sometimes not so good. This is an exploration of life and all that interests me. I am a therapist working in Norwich, Norfolk, UK. I'm fascinated in the world around me and how people deal with and relate to it. I like to further my knowledge of people, psychology and more. Please join me on my journey.

Tuesday 20 December 2016

'Christmad' preparation? My top toboggan swerves to coast you through Christmas like a pro

So, I was hurriedly searching for a particular food on google, intending looking for 'Christmas holiday food'. However, with the speed of a chased rabbit down a hole, I mistyped: 'Christmad.'  Seems a suitable alternative name for an increasingly frantic time leading up to the festivities. 

The supermarkets have been playing Christmas music since November, when it was still quite warm and not at all feeling like Christmas, here in the UK. The TV commercials and shops started a feeling of journeying down a toboggan ride to 'Christmad' that was gradually more demanding and picking up speed. Going on a toboggan without preparation is dangerous, if untrained. So here's 3 of my top 'swerves' to prepare you for your very own toboggan ride to be happier and coast you more gently through Christmas!

 1) Tidying up

Your house may be less than tidy, perhaps you’re working long hours to make ends meet. You have family coming over. So you can either clean the house all night and feel exhausted or decide maybe you’re holding onto an unrealistic illusion of what a perfect home looks like at Christmas?  People tend to remember experiences, not things.  The fun and laughter of friends and families, not there were flawlessly clean carpets, perfect matching decorations and neatly stacked logs by a roaring fire. I’d rather have happy, rested family and friends, than those worn out cleaning everything up till the wee small hours, wouldn't you?

2)  Present buying

Most people, if asked, would say that some presents they’ve been given have gone unused, been recycled or are just sitting in the back of a cupboard. Finding and choosing gifts can be stressful. Particularly when attempting to find the latest ‘must-have’ toy for children. Of course, you want to do your best for your child. However, repeat after me “I’m doing the best for my family/friends/me” (Because, yes, you are!) Why not create something homemade that certain people will particularly like? (I’ve hand-painted a few items this year and I think the recipients will appreciate my efforts)

3)  Judging yourself/ comparisons

Don’t judge yourself harshly if you can’t finalise everything you would want to at Christmas.  If you have children, know that YOU are doing the best for them at this time.  Your love and time is far more important to a child. The best gift you can give is being a loving and ‘present’ parent, rather than worrying about ‘what if’s’ and ‘could haves’. They just take you away from the present moment of enjoying what you DO have.
If you see friends glossy ‘perfect’ images posted on social media, it can lead to feelings of envy or of not matching up to their standards. Those images are not the whole picture. They represent a moment, not a real story of lumpy gravy, only what the person posting wants you to see.  It’s another illusion to disregard and swerve.

 I wish you a very healthy and happy ride through the festivities! 

Angie x

See:

Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme
About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 
Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
Angie offers a free initial chat to find out more, usually as part of your first consultation. 

Sunday 13 November 2016

Spread a little kindness, it starts with you!




“WHEN WE FEEL LOVE AND KINDNESS TOWARD OTHERS, IT NOT ONLY MAKES OTHERS FEEL LOVED AND CARED FOR, BUT IT HELPS US ALSO TO DEVELOP INNER HAPPINESS AND PEACE.”
~ DALAI LAMA

Today raises awareness of kindness. Kindness is one of those 'softer' skills that is often discussed as a way of feeling good.  Where does kindness start and charity end? 

You may remember the expression 'charity begins at home'. This generally refers to putting your family and yourself in order before serving others. It's a proverb, not a religious statement. Sir Thomas Browne was the first to put the expression into print, inReligio Medici, 1642: "Charity begins at home, is the voice of the world: yet is every man his greatest enemy."

What if we think in our personal lives of others as being 'an enemy' or 'someone to be feared'. What impact on our own ability towards kindness and compassion? What if in being unforgiving to others our ourselves (with our thoughts or behaviours in our 'home'), we become more unhappy and less likely to show compassion to others? What good will come from this? 

As an example, Jay Narayanan (psychologist) spoke about the toll of holding a grudge. He pointed to an experiment showing grudge-holders perceiving a hill as steeper than did people who had been asked to recall a time they’d forgiven someone. It’s as if the grudge is a heavy backpack that people wear, yet they resist forgiving others, because they fear it will make them appear weak and will invite exploitation. On the other hand, he referred to some powerful leaders, Gandhi and Nelson Mandela, being admired because they could have retaliated, but chose not to despite the obvious repression they were subjected to. 


Can you forgive one person today? Find that compassion and kindness for yourself, feeling less burdened by hurt, and you may find extra kindness blooms freely in your heart. Creating space for you to make a difference in this world. 


Angie
    

See:

Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme
About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 
Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
 

Friday 7 October 2016

World Mental Health Day 2016:10th October


Each year on 10th of October, World Mental Health Day is held in order to raise awareness of Mental Health issues. 

This year's theme of Psychological First Aid in crisis situations seems particularly pertinent, given Hurricane Matthew and it's path of destruction. Psychological First Aid is is not just about professionals providing support for someone who experiences a traumatic event. It is also about everyday people and how they can provide support without needing to be a fully qualified counsellor. 

Please take a look at the link here for World Health Organisation information on World Mental Health Day. 

One of the things people get concerned over is worrying what they do or say to those involved in a traumatic event. What do you say if someone has just lost a family member, witnessed something devastating happening or have just lost their home /way of life? 

Here's a list of things NOT to say or do:

  • Don’t pressure someone to tell their story.
  • Don’t interrupt or rush someone’s story.
  • Don’t give your opinions of the person’s situation, just listen.
  • Don’t touch the person if you’re not sure it is appropriate to do so.
  • Don’t judge what they have or haven’t done, or how they are feeling
  • Don’t say…”You shouldn't feel that way.” or “You should feel lucky you survived.”
  • Don’t make up things you don’t know.
  • Don’t use too technical terms. 
  • Don’t tell them someone else’s story. 
  • Don’t talk about your own troubles. 
  • Don’t give false promises or false reassurances. 
  • Don’t feel you have to try to solve all the person’s problems for them.
  • Don’t take away the person’s strength and sense of being able to care for themselves.
Here's a list of things to say and do:
  • Try to find a quiet place to talk and minimize outside distractions. 
  • Stay near the person but keep an appropriate distance depending on their age, gender and culture. 
  • Let them know you hear what they are saying, for example, nod your head and stay attentive. 
  • Be patient and calm. 
  • Provide factual information IF you have it. Be honest about what you know and what you don’t know. “I don’t know but I will try to find out about that for you.” 
  • Give information in a way the person can understand - keep it simple. 
  • Acknowledge how they are feeling, and any losses or important events they share with you, such as loss of home or death of a loved one. “I’m so sorry… ” 
  • Respect privacy. Keep the person’s story confidential, especially when they disclose very private events. 
  • Acknowledge the person’s strengths and how they have helped themselves. 
 How to Help Responsibly
Adapt what you do to take account of the person’s culture
Respect safety, dignity and rights
Safety: don’t expose people to further harm, ensure (as best you can) they are safe and protected from further physical or psychological harm
Dignity: treat people with respect and according to their cultural and social norms
Rights: act only in people’s best interest, ensure access to impartial assistance without discrimination, assist people to claim their rights and access available support
Be aware of other emergency response measures
Care for caregivers: practice self-care and team-care (if working as part of rescue team/ services)

How you can help responsibly and ethically. The Do's
  • Do listen, without judgement. 
  • Do be honest and trustworthy.
  • Do respect a person’s right to make their own decisions.
  • Do be aware of and set aside your own biases and prejudices.
  • Do make it clear to people that even if they refuse help now, they can still access help in the future.
  • Do respect privacy and keep the person’s story confidential, as appropriate.
  • Do behave appropriately according to the person’s culture, age and gender.
None of us know exactly what is going on in people's lives, this might be at work or personally. We may fail to spot telltale signs of someone feeling under par and may be suffering with mental health. Many employers nowadays understand the importance of open communication and support of mental health issues. 

The message of how we can help each other to feel mentally resilient and supported, even if we do so in small ways, hopefully will filter through into workplaces and society as a whole. Removing the stigma attached to mental health includes learning to accept the role we all have to play, and the little things we can do, to putting a stop to someone feeling stigmatised.

Thank you for taking the time to read. I have added links to various organisations that are doing a great job in raising awareness of mental health issues now and throughout the year, including the advice on what to do/ say above (details of which taken from WHO slides).

Angie
    

See:

Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme
About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 
Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
Angie offers a free initial consultation to find out more. 

Tuesday 6 September 2016

One small step for you... away from anxiety or low mood (or how to pop that bubble before it bursts)

So how many times have you found yourself sinking into a low or anxious mood recently? I think there are few people, who if they thought carefully, could deny that this happens from time to time.

The thing is, why does it happen? There are some very straightforward reasons for why this happens.
Our brains are pretty much hardwired to spot the negative in things. I don't mean that we go around moaning and groaning, it's more that there is a tendency to zoom in on the negatives at great speed! 
We are all capable of blowing up big bubbles of anxiety (or of depressed thinking) without even realising we are doing so. 

It's also something that we can choose to become more aware of. We can choose spending less time being engaged 'actively' in the very thoughts that lead to those negative feelings. So how can you address those thoughts without pinging an elastic band every time you think of them? (Yes, I had a go at doing that too!)

One thing that I personally found to help me, is the use of mindfulness and meditation. It does not mean clearing my mind, it is more that I focus attention so I become an impartial observer. It means I can spot and identify when thoughts are actually doing me harm. I'm thinking of running another 6 week course in Mindfulness and Meditation for beginners at the Norfolk Clinic from the first week of October. If you want to know more about this very valuable course and for more details, get in touch soon, as bookings are limited to 6 per group.

There's also a number of other things that can support managing your own state of mind. I share ideas with clients, when working with me individually. Some ideas are from different types of therapies, such as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), and some are what I'd define as 'logical steps'. All in all a multitude of ways to change the way you think and feel. As a unique client, you will be encouraged to work through issues that are most important to you, so that you are able to see progress, even if just small steps. All those steps add up, don't they?

Angie
    

See:

Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme
About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 
Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
Angie offers a free initial consultation to find out more. 

Sunday 4 September 2016

Migraine awareness week - Migraine: what's it like? What can I do about them?


Migraines to me were mini-tornadoes, whipping sharply through my head and leaving a wake of destruction. Sometimes lingering like an unwelcome visitor. Unfortunately I suffered with migraines quite regularly in my teens, twenties and thirties. Thankfully since reaching my forties, I've had very infrequent migraines.

As far as we know, there was no one else in my family that had suffered with migraine before I had my first migraine as a teenager. I was terrified, thinking I was losing my vision or having a stroke. It's nothing like a normal headache. Feeling disoriented, I was not able to string a sentence together whilst a rather beautiful but awfully sickening ‘aura’ of twirling light started the onset of migraine. This was followed by quite a long period of gaps/disturbance in my vision. Then a fierce compression of my eyes/ temples/ pounding in my head followed by feelings of nausea.  Unpleasant and debilitating symptoms.

I think that hormones were definitely part of the problem, though after that first experience I had many more migraines brought on by bright or flickering lights and other triggers too (certain foods, tiredness and stress). I am better at managing my stress levels now and for choosing to eat regularly and get enough sleep.

A strategy for my particular ‘light sensitivity’ was for me to get into the darkest place possible and stay there till I stopped seeing the ‘aura’ and for my vision to slowly return to normal. Then I’d sip water, or if the migraine was not budging, have a coffee. This was because I’d been told coffee is supposed to open up constricted blood vessels and reduce the migraine severity. It’s not really clear if this is true, though I would have done anything to get through that ‘migraine hell!’

Migraine headaches are typically divided into two categories: migraine with aura and migraine without aura. An “aura” refers to sensations people get before a migraine. The sensations typically occur anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes before attack. These can include:
  • feeling less mentally alert or having trouble thinking
  • seeing flashing lights or unusual patterns
  • numbness or tingling of the face or hands
  •  senses heightened, including unusual sense of smell, taste, or touch 

Some migraine sufferers can experience symptoms a day or two before a migraine occurs. Known as the “prodrome” phase, these may include:
  • constipation
  • depression/ severe irritability
  • frequent yawning
  • neck stiffness
  • unusual food cravings
See this great site for comprehensive description of migraine and the different types of headache.  https://www.migrainetrust.org/about-migraine/types-of-migraine/other-headache-disorders/tension-type-headache/

If you are experiencing symptoms, you should consult with your GP. There are many reasons why people get headaches and visual disturbances, some of which may appear to be migraine but are not, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. If you have been diagnosed with suffering migraines, there are various ‘over the counter’ drugs that can help minimise the impact.

It is worth investigating any other options, like complementary therapies (eg, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, osteopathy, herbal), alongside traditional medicine See also: Norfolk Clinic Facebook - migraine info

If you are going through your own version of ‘migraine hell’, come and find out more about the services I offer (and that of other relevant therapies at the Norfolk Clinic too)

Angie

See:
Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme
About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 

Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
Angie offers a free initial consultation to find out more. 

Monday 6 June 2016

Mindfully aware

Mindfulness is something that can seem really challenging to achieve when under pressure or dealing with a great deal of emotion.

From my own experience, and from others I have worked with, mindfulness becomes a big part in helping to navigate busy times and calming overworked emotional responses.

Some benefits found when using mindful approaches and meditation are calming a busy mind whilst getting into the 'now'. Focusing and gently directing your mind on what you are doing and away from latching onto negative thinking too.

There's not one way that is best for someone to experience mindfulness and there are many different ways to be mindful too.


Yoga is a mindful activity and one that I enjoy doing for the mental focus that is required (as well as the challenge of the physical movement!).

Our yoga teacher told us about a very mature lady who she saw whilst on a retreat. This lady was in her 70's, was extremely supple and lithe for her age. She chose to rise much earlier (at 6am) at least an hour and a half ahead of the rest of the group. This lady was mindfully directing her body (and mind) to a morning routine that strengthened her physically and got her joints and muscles ready for the morning yoga session. It was proof that focus and awareness had given this lady a choice of how she wanted to be, how she wanted to feel, and then directing herself fully to that activity.

If only we were all on a retreat? It seems easier to imagine when you have not got the daily pressures of life. However, mindfulness can be used at any time. Why not go for a walk and just pay attention to the feeling of your feet on the ground? What about noticing the sounds you are making with your feet? The feeling of a breeze on your face? Making a cup of tea with absolute focus on that task, letting any thoughts 'not about tea making' to drop away until you have finished your cuppa?

Enjoy being a little more mindful today. Notice what happens when you do.

Angie :)

See:

Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme
About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 
Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
Angie offers a free initial consultation to find out more. 

 

Sunday 10 April 2016

Finding energy after illness



I've been feeling out of sorts recently, with a cold at the start of the year, unfortunate timing. I felt low on energy. When I started to recover in February, I did feel well for about 12 days. I had a lot of things to do and things to catch up with. You probably know how it goes:
  • You start to feel better, so you think 'Right, I will get on with a heap of tasks right now'. 
  • You get behind with domestic chores, so there's a concern about wanting to tidy up the house.  
  • Missing your friends where had to cancel previously, so you want to see them, and end up tiring yourself out when you do!
  • Work = Clients wanting time with me. I like to fit with their schedules as much as I can, so working some evenings as expected. Led to feeling tired (sleeping less well due to a cold) 
  • Doing more of my 'to do' list, that includes paperwork, meetings, writing social media posts.
  • All those events that you believe you 'should' be doing or attending.
  • Wanting to be at 100% when actually at about 60% capacity!   
I was feeling pressure to progress with planned activity, and wanted to get back into meeting up with friends, clients and business contacts. I arranged meet ups with a couple of friends and I got to see clients and attended a few events, two of which were all-day events. I also started to get back on to social media and was enjoying achieving some of my plans.

However, I felt my head spinning by week 2 after that 'return to work'. I happened to be at a networking event which was quite 'full on' with lots of people being introduced and moved around. At the time I couldn't work out why I felt lightheaded and my temples and under-eye area pounding. I did stop momentarily to take a breath and the organiser saw this, asking me if I was OK. My answer was a question, I asked 'is it hot in here?' and 'I have a bit of a headache.' To be fair, the venue wasn't hot, I was (in an infected sense!).

Going home after that, I snuggled under a blanket and stayed there for an hour or more. That was perhaps a sensible thing to do. It was then I realised I had a temperature and my 'cotton wool' head feeling of confusion and discomfort turned out to be sinusitis (I know the signs as I had it as a child). The whole time I'd kept going, because being self-employed, income only comes in when I am seeing clients. I did cancel a couple of client meetings after that, before I'd got some idea of how to treat the infection, and just in case it was a 'fresh cold' that I might pass on.  

During the worst of my illnesses, I still put effort into eating freshly cooked homemade meals, even though I didn't really feel up to making them. I lost weight over this time period too, even though I continued to eat and retained a love of chocolate and Easter. (In moderation: I still have one favourite bar of chocolate left in April). I also did a couple of cheat meals, where I bought a ready meal from the supermarket. It tasted very good and was not really that unhealthy (I regularly check food labels for content).

I also spoke with our herbalist, Tim, at the Norfolk Clinic for a few pointers on dealing with sinusitis. If you are prone to colds and coughs (and sinusitis),Tim has a lot of great advice to reduce symptoms.
I've written before on this blog about returning to work too soon after an illness. It is very easy to think you are clear of a cold, when actually you may have a secondary infection. I had felt 'on the mend', so perhaps this was a separate infection. I don't know. I'm just glad to be feeling a bit more 'me' again. It's quite a relief (and I'm sure my Norfolk Clinic colleagues will be glad to have a more organised Angie back in the room too!) I hope that anyone else who had a cold or illness this season is feeling much better too.

Angie x

See:

Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme
About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 
Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
Angie offers a free initial consultation to find out more. 

Sunday 3 January 2016

Want to be leaner and live (healthily) longer? Islanders of Japan may hold the key!

Do you want to be leaner and live healthily longer? 

There's a southern group of Islands in Okinawa in Japan where the elders live to a very ripe old age (the greatest proportion of centenarians in the world, according to the UN). They have a significantly lowered risk of heart attack, stroke, cancer, osteoporosis and alzheimers.  Older members of their community lead active & healthy lifestyles and also suffer less depression. After years of research there appears 2 factors behind longevity and good health of elders upon the island: 
  1. What they eat (low calories, less fats, more vegetables, fruit, fish and tofu) and 
  2. A simple, healthy lifestyle and continuing involvement in their community
Both factors we can learn a great deal from. The food eaten by Okinawan's is a traditional diet of portions of cooked food and fresh fruit. They tend to eat a lot of vegetables: seven portions of vegetables and fruits a day. Also, they consume seven portions of grains/ cereals and two of soy. They also regularly eat fish (and squid/ octopus) and tofu each week and, less frequently, meat and dairy products. 


For exercise, there are no gyms on the islands, these people work and take long walks, dance, cycle, tend their gardens, practice tai chi and martial arts (and that's just those aged over 90!) There is a strong sense of community and mutual support within the Islands too. I totally agree with the two factors and the philosophy for good health for a healthy retirement. 
There is a third factor that I have read about. It seems rather important to me, as a person interested in reducing obesity and in helping others with weight management.  This is the third factor, based on Confucian philosophy, that is widely adopted within the Islands: 

  • "Eat until you are 80% full"  

The expression "Hara hachi bun me" (or "hara hachi bu") sometimes mis-spelled "hari hachi bu". Roughly translated the Japanese phrase is “Eat until you are eight parts (out of ten) full” or “belly 80 percent full”.


If, like me, you remember being told to 'finish your plate' before leaving the school/ home dinner table, this may take a little getting used to! Our western habits mean we're trained to over-eat, stretching our stomachs with food, partly because of the ingrained unconscious 'fear' of leaving food on our plate. 

It is believed by eating their diet and stopping eating at 80% full assists in keeping islanders Body Mass Index low. It has been documented to delaying the stomach stretch receptors that help signal feeling full. Perhaps our 'feeling full switch is off' or we confuse the signals of feeling thirsty with hunger. Either way, learning to mentally recognise when we are becoming 80% full, and training ourselves to stop eating, may be useful for losing weight. 

Turning off distractions when you eat, television and computers and smart phones, enables you to concentrate on your food too. Then mind, taste buds and stomach really connect. When you think and feel you are reaching 80% full, push the plate away. Can't do any harm, can it? You might lose a few pounds in the process too.  


See:

Facebook for HypnoShape: HypnoShape weight reduction programme
About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG. 
Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email info@angiegiles.co.uk 
Angie offers a free initial consultation to find out more. 

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