Butt-kicking or pat on the back?

Occasionally I see something, whether a quote, a picture or   something I read, that makes me sit up and take notice. Especially when it's to do with abilities not being encouraged. Perhaps its the natural 'coach' in me! 

Seeing a news report, a story from a friend or hearing from a client of first-hand experience of feeling like they had been overlooked.  

Several people I've met over the years told me that school/ sport /club sometimes left them feeling like they were running an uphill battle with them at the bottom of the hill trying to reach the top. No support was provided to get there. Yet they had the ability in them and had 'given up' trying. 

They were shouted at for doing things wrong or for not doing it the way the system believed it should be (school, club - whatever really). Negative and restrictive behaviours surrounding the system brought them down. It wasn't their fault, yet they thought it was. It was the system that was actually failing. It was not meeting their needs and conformed to the majority of the participants that were in it.

Then I hear other stories of people who have been lucky enough to have worked with an amazing teacher/coach/leader. Amazing in that a person is respected for being sensitive to the needs of people who struggled in the traditional systems. These inspirational people seem to instinctively know to inspire and train people who maybe don't fit the 'usual' system requirements. They know how to encourage and empower and inspire confidence and also introduce fun ways of keeping that knowledge. 

The best thing that all of these leaders, teachers and coaches seem to do, is find a way of reaching out to people. Encouraging and reinforcing learning in a fun and forgiving way. Learning is also about making mistakes and people often fear making mistakes. So if a student/person does happen to make a mistake they are made aware, encouraged to correct it themselves, or shown how to solve it if they do not have the actual skill required. No getting hung up on any idea of 'failure'. 

There might not always be available time to give to that one person who is struggling, especially in a team environment, as everybody needs to be 'on the ball'. However, that one person may remember and respect that inspirational teacher/coach/ leader who bothered to stop, show and encourage them.  If they are finding it tough it will mean a lot to them and inspire them to keep going.     

See:
angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich. 

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816. She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work ,life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

The Job Search Blues and ways to motivate yourself

During the job search, it’s often not only the bank balance that can seem like it's going downhill. If you’ve been through redundancy or been looking for work for a while, self-esteem can also take a hit. The bills may be piling up and all you want is for someone to just see your potential, take a chance on your and give you a job.  It’s not too much to ask really, is it? Well, that’s a good question!

If you are feeling low, the chances are you are unintentionally showing something of that to potential employers. It tends to ‘leak out’ without you realising it.  Almost imagining accepting yet another rejection letter floating through the letterbox before you've even finished the application? It will show. So what to do if you feel stuck or seem weighed down by the situation?

Some sure fire ways to get yourself motivated to complete your applications:

1. If you feel like your energy is almost get up and gone; get outside. Go for a walk and take yourself completely away from the job search for 10 to 15 minutes. Listen and watch nature. Breathe deeply.  Getting oxygen back in your system is valuable and can re-energise and refresh your mind and your body. It’s amazing how we forget the power of breathing to instantly improve our outlook on life.  
2. List your strengths or ask people who know you well what they think your strengths are. We sometimes forget these values as important to an employer. What are we good at? Would we be the one to keep a calm head when everyone else is flustered? A good listener? Able to explain complex things simply? Do you recognise in yourself what other people tell you that you are good at? Can you use that knowledge in your applications?
3. Think of each job application as a step towards your new future.  Like Takeshi’s Castle (a Japanese TV show) where the contestants go across water by giant stepping stones. Some of the stones are solid and others do sink so that a contestant falls in the water.  If you consider you have learnt something from those stones that don’t hold weight, it can seem less painful. Perhaps those roles were not right for you anyway and the next application may be toward firmer ground and a healthier bank balance too.
   
4. Make sure you concentrate on applying for jobs that you think you are going to enjoy.  If you really like the sound of the job, the more chance you’ll focus effort into getting it, rather than ‘just another application’.  Imagine what it would be like to work there. How would it feel? What are the people like? Look up the company details and do a bit of research on them, so you can ask questions to show interest if you’re invited to interview.  I was asked questions about an unusually listed company (private stock) at interview, and yes, I’d done my research so I could easily answer… and they offered me the job.Good luck and keep positive. You deserve success!  

See:angiegiles.co.uk
Twitter: angie_therapist
Facebook: Angie Giles Hypnotherapy

About the Author: Angie loves helping other people achieve their potential at work and in life and achieving happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques. Available via skype, telephone as well as face to face. Based in Norwich, Norfolk, UK.. 

the past and future in action

"We all grow up with the weight of history on us. Our ancestors dwell in the attics of our brains as they do in the spiraling chains of knowledge hidden in every cell of our bodies" ~Shirley Abbott