The magic of heels (or sparkly red shoes): self belief

I remember the first time I went to buy a pair of high heels. There was a good reason, not just fashion. I wanted a pair of heels to look older than my 12 years. I needed to look like I was 14, the age I needed to be to get in to see a then 'AA' rated film at the cinema. The film was the 'Elephant Man'. I'd heard it was amazing and I'd do anything to go. Where I lived there wasn't that many shoe shops in town. My mum went with me and we searched the shop with the 'teen' appeal. 

The pair of shoes I found and fell in love with there were totally impractical. A vivid red/orange colour, peep toe, in suede. I have wide fitting feet and I think these were a narrow fit. My mum asked if I was sure about them. 'Yes' of course I was, my heart was already set on those shoes and so I squeezed my toes into them and thought, 'perfect!' even as the pretty suede pinched the edge of my big and little toes. I believed the shoes made me look and feel older - just the way I needed them to. That was all that mattered. 

I needed no help in the pretence of being older than I was. I added a dab of make up on the evening of the film. I put on those red shoes and wobbled and strutted off with my friend (also in heels). That night my friend and I were also already 14 in our minds, we were emotionally 'grown up' we really believed it. We even behaved more worldly and acted confidently before we got anywhere near the cinema. Of course, we got in to see the film and it was wonderful and moving. I look back now and smile, as it was the genuine belief that we were already two years older, that was amazing and touching. 

It's great what a pair of shoes can do for you. It's also amazing what your imagination can do too. Self-belief starts with a little imagination and practice. You have the power inside. Heels are optional.

See:

angiegiles.co.uk
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About the Author: Angie works as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich.  

Call Norfolk Clinic reception on 01603 660792 or Angie directly on 07773 610816.  She loves helping other people achieve their potential at work, life and find greater happiness using a range of therapeutic techniques.

When you dream...

It's been a busy week for me. I know there are times in life when there does not seem enough hours in the day for all the things that we want to do, right? I was sorting out paperwork for the last couple of weeks, in between seeing clients. I learnt a valuable lesson to be more organised in many ways.

I also was pleased to get a day out at a spa (with a company called 'Dream on'), courtesy of a competition win earlier this week. How lucky I felt!  Once this article has been published I will post it here. As part of the day, I was asked why I had become a therapist and about my transition to being self employed after working in the employed world for many years.  There's many reasons of course why we do what we do. What motivates us can sometimes be negativity (surely bad for Karma in the long run?) and there is also good stuff. Things that help us to push through - and way beyond - what we actually thought we were capable of. For me, opening up and saying my reasons and my background was challenging. I know that everyone has their own personal journey and mine is considerably easier than many other people. What I got from doing it, was a sense of pride to look back and see that despite doubting my own abilities over the years, I was following my dream.

It made me think. I suppose I am most of the time what some people call 'glass half full'. In reality a part optimist, part realist. I do have the odd day when the liquid drains right out too. Days when I need a way of recapturing my 'mojo'. I have a few personal ways of doing this. One is to watch a video of myself (a real one) of when I felt really good achieving something I worked hard to do. I feel really positive about it too. I would also encourage you to find a way of respecting your abilities and strengths. One simple way is to keep a photo memory on your desk or with you. Something to make you smile, or play music to lift your mood. A little 'pick me up' that you can dip into at any time.

I give my clients self help techniques, and they like it as they gain control. I hope to share these with you too perhaps, if you are interested? I can be contacted for an initial free consultation on 07773 610816, if you are ready to take a step towards realising your potential and going for your dreams. Just like I did.

Suspending beliefs

Is 2012 your year for change? I can help you!
It could be wanting to stop an old habit, increasing confidence levels, dealing with anxiety or looking to make changes for a healthier, happier future. Making that decision is what matters, so well done if you've already started or decided to go for it! Sometimes having someone outside of your usual friends and family can make the process that much easier.  Of course the most important person to achieve what you want, is you, isn't it? I pay attention to that and give you the support you need to make the changes you want, at the pace you want.     

listen to your thoughts and smile for happiness

In a moment of clarity I realised some years ago that you could choose to be anything you wanted to be. Now that's a big statement, I know. What I realised was the truth, is that just because someone else's opinion was formed with their own beliefs, it did not need to attach itself to mine (or to anyone else's). It was my right and my decision to start a chain of events that would take me on a journey of discovery. I was discovering that I had a lot more to give to the world and that the world didn't have to stop with other people's perceptions.  


That journey hasn't stopped and I continue to be amazed at what you can do when you believe and perceive of yourself and others. There have been some steep inclines and some moments of feeling like the wheels are only just on the rails. Some days I have reached the highest pinnacles, the wind really in my sails, then to feel like the wind has vanished. It's then that I take time out. A few minutes of quiet time to reflect on what is happening inside of me. Why those feelings? What's happening? If there is a bit of internal criticism going on, I listen to establish what is the truth. Continuing to ask questions of myself. Do I really believe that? Is that really true? How are my relationships with others shaping my journey?     


Take a few minutes to ask yourself a few questions to establish your truth.


Another technique that I've applied on and off for years (and some people might think this a bit ludicrous!) is to fake 'being happy'.  Even if I've woken up 'under a cloud' with my mouth -feeling upside down, I fake it and I've noticed that the rather-ridiculous-artificially-induced-smile boosts my mood.  It also means I take notice of other people's facial expressions and when they are looking sad, give them a smile. It's a bit of reciprocal support on a day when you need to bounce back. I admit, some people look at me like I'm a bit strange - they are strangers after all. But it is great when you get a genuine smile back. 


Give that fake smile a go if you are having an upside-down sort of day!

Mind games and tweaking reality

I've been talking with people today who make a lot of sense.  They make a lot of sense as they realise what they are saying has a direct and proportionate reaction to their reality. It comes down to this; if you think that something is going to happen (and I'm talking here particularly about negative beliefs that burrow into our thoughts) it will unfortunately and more often than not, become the truth. You'll hear 'I told you so!' from those who have this type of mindset.I accept I might sound like a scratched record on this theme, I can only tell you how true this is!

What if we were able to shape our world by the very thoughts and images we have in our head? It sounds too good to be true for most people though, right? Maybe the way to begin to effect a positive outcome is to start with one thing - turn a negative thought around. So if you think 'I'm no good at that' - could you say 'I'm getting better' instead? Where one thought might lead.... 'mind games' might take you there, John Lennon's lesser known song really is very clever indeed. I hope you enjoy the you tube link.

Placebo or real?

I've always enjoyed natural sciences and in particular how the mind connects with our bodies. I'm fascinated with the idea of 'placebo' effect, actually more for me about the true nature of mind over matter.  It has seemed a strange fact that over the years thousands of studies for new drugs have shown people given a placebo will often report an improvement in their condition. However, this often does not get reported. So I was pleased to read up on a study that definitely proved the 'placebo' effect, or rather how our expectations of something have a big effect on how we respond. The study was reported in February this year, completed at Oxford University, in conjunction with German Researchers.  See link Fear the worst expect the best


The findings suggest that doctors may need to consider dealing with patients’ beliefs about the effectiveness of any treatment, as well as the traditional route of deciding upon a drug for them.  


Are we in the Western world getting closer to a traditionally Eastern medicine view of a holistic view of mind as well as body?  I truly hope so.